Today is the day...

that my parents are moving to North Carolina.

It's a long, hard, 2-day drive from New Mexico. I understand completely why they are moving. My mother has never liked the Southwest. She was raised in places like Washington state, California, and Alaska, and she was born in North Carolina, so it has been very hard on her here. She was stationed in this state twice while in the military, and she retired in this town in 2001. But she wants to be near her deceased father's family and get a teaching job out there.

I feel so alone. I am very used to moving. We moved every 2-3 years when I was growing up. That's the life of a military brat. But the older I get, the more I want to settle down. I want to have a "home." I've never had a place I could call home because I wasn't ever from anywhere.

And the older I get the more I want to be closer to my parents. I have seen them every day for the last 5 years. Now I won't see them but once or twice a year.

I feel very selfish. I feel like a big baby. But I still feel very lonely, even with Justin and my girls.

I will be busy this fall, with school and work and family. Will that make the time pass by faster?

Maybe Christmas will come early this year.

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