Between PB&J sandwiches and mopping the floor...

I found some time to google "Sandra." Yes, that's my name. Why else would I bother?

In addition to the usual Sandra Bullock or Sandra Brown sites, I came across this...

Download Sandra
Free Sandra track.
Free Trial with no obligation.
www.real-download.com

For reasons unknown, I was bothered by the possibility of people downloading me. Why would someone want to download me? And what would they do with me if they did? Would I end up as a cut-and-paste on a porn site? As a target on a virtual dart board? Hit normally semi-attractive woman in the third eye and win a prize! (Third eye=incredibly large pimple directly centered in the middle of my forehead. I heard it mumbling about world domination last night.)

My curiosity got the best of me, and I wasted no time getting to the site so that I could download Sandra for my own personal gain. The toilets need to be scrubbed, and my cat has been walking around holding a sign that says, "Hey hey Ho Ho that kitty litter has got to go!" I suggested sending in a scab to cross the picket line, but my cat reminded me that our queen/serb contract specifically states "No substitutions." And I think Aislin just made a poop face.

How divine it would be, I thought, to be able to download myself. TOS (the other Sandra) can do all of the chores that I dread! While TOS is taking care of the dishes, the toilets, cat litter, laundry, and mopping, I can sit around on my ass and watch Law and Order reruns while simultaneously cross stitching, reading to Aislin, and helping Alyssa with her math. Oh joy! And while she's at it, TOS can grade those quizzes I have been putting off, and write that hate letter to Sports Illustrated for Kids (because damnit I didn't order your magazine and I'm not paying for it! Get the hint!)

But alas, no such luck. Sandra turned out to be a program for diagnosing computer problems. It doesn't clean toilets or litter boxes, or write nasty letters to overly-zealous sports magazines. But I won't let it get me down. Because "a woman's work is never done." That's why it can wait. I'm going to go snuggle with Aislin.

Poop face and all.