I thought journaling was about speaking your mind at the moment you feel a certain way. Was I wrong? Are people going to hold against me something that I feel misanthropic about at the time I write about it? Apparently so. Looking back over the comments left from yesterday's post, I feel that I should make it clear that I am writing about how I feel at that very moment. I thoroughly enjoy my career (not job), otherwise I wouldn't be doing it. If anyone can tell me that they are absolutely happy with every aspect of their job, I would tell them they are lying. Nothing is that perfect. I do live in the real world where there are negative aspects to many things. Work is no different. I know all about being a "nontraditional" student, as I started school when I was 25 with a one-year-old daughter. I got my BA at 28 and my MA at almost 31. All of my students this semester are straight out of high school and, therefore, are all 18-years-old..
I am not criticizing high school teachers, nor the education my students have received. My issue lies with how my students are doing in my class. Am I failing these students because they can't even write a proper thesis sentence after we worked on it for a week? I tell myself that I have to be doing something right because in my six years of teaching I have had students go on to win writing awards, decide they want to major in English, and graduate with honors. I have a higher than average attendance rate, and a higher than average evaluation score. So like I said, I must be doing something right.
I am not a racist, sexist, bigomist, favoritist, communist, or any other word that ends with -ist. What I am is a mother to two wonderfully intelligent and beautiful girls, a wife to a handsome and loving man, a cross stitcher, avid reader, and an excellent college instructor who enjoys what I do. If I post that Alyssa made me angry today because she lost one of her ballet slippers and we had to leave in 4 minutes for her master ballet class, or won't keep her room clean, am I to be told I shouldn't be a mother? If I post that my dear Justin irritated me because he drug mud through my clean kitchen floor, should it be suggested that I get a divorce? If I post that my cat shit on my shoe in the back of the closet, would it be better if I didn't own pets? I should say not.
I will not apologize for my religious views, my political views, or my views on abortion, parenting, and treating everyone (including animals) with respect. I will not deliberately point fingers at anyone, nor will I single out someone to be a scapegoat. But I will use this journal to write about how I feel at a particular moment in time.
And that's all I have to say about that.